The reality and complexity of ‘Death Admin’
After recently reading this artcle on MamaMia, titled 'My mum died 2 months ago. No one told me the "death admin" would be this hard.' we felt compelled to write about this too. Carolyn’s experience is really challenging and losing a parent, let alone both so quickly, is truly devastating. Her frankness is appreciated and how many of us resonate with her comment “I misunderstood what "it's all with the lawyers" meant when I spoke with my parents about their wills”.
Her experience sadly is one we likely all have heard elements of or experienced ourselves. Reading her story, it added fuel to our fire to ensure people are talking about this more and helping prepare a little, so we can all be present and grieve when we have the unfortunate experience of farewelling someone we love.
Please do take the time to read through Carolyn’s experience here.
We’ve taken insights from her post, added in our own experiences along with some credible reference articles, and created a summary for you to help reduce the admin burden. This is a starting point, and if nothing else, please do have a Will in place and discuss your wishes well in advance with your loved ones so they can best honour you.
Planning for the end of life is not just about handling finances; it’s about leaving a legacy of love, clarity, and consideration. By addressing key elements of estate planning and communication now, you can reduce the burden on your loved ones during a really difficult time. Here are the six areas we recommend putting time and attention to:
1. Draft and Regularly Update Your Will
A legally sound and updated will is the cornerstone of any estate plan. It outlines how your assets are distributed and ensures your wishes are respected. Regular updates are essential, particularly after major life events like marriage, divorce, or the birth of a child.
In the UK, Australia and Aotearoa, less than 50% of adults have a will, and the consequences of not having one are significant. We also know it can be a daunting task the first time, so here’s a free plain language guide to help prepare and get one set up.
Consulting with a legal professional is advised to ensure your will complies with local laws. A clear, precise will can prevent disputes and provide your family with guidance during an emotional time.
2. Appoint an Executor Thoughtfully
The executor of your estate is responsible for handling your affairs, including settling debts, managing assets, and navigating legal requirements. Choosing someone who is organized, trustworthy, and willing to undertake this role is crucial.
Consider discussing the responsibilities with your chosen executor in advance. This ensures they are prepared and reduces the likelihood of them feeling overwhelmed. The complexity of the role is highlighted in The Wall Street Journal, which notes that executors often face a combination of administrative and emotional challenges, and some guidance is detailed here when considering who you ask, and the timing for doing so.
3. Simplify and Organize Your Financial Affairs
One of the most practical ways to alleviate stress for loved ones is to organize and consolidate your financial accounts. Maintain a clear, detailed list of your assets, liabilities, account details, and any associated passwords. To ensure security and accessibility of this information, as well as maintaining information in real time and relevance, Holdmine is a great option.
Regardless of where and how you secure your information, simplifying your estate ensures that your loved ones can focus on healing rather than untangling financial complexities.
4. Openly Discuss Your Wishes
Talking about end-of-life matters can be uncomfortable but necessary. Discuss your funeral preferences, medical directives, and any personal wishes with your family. These conversations can bring clarity and reduce the emotional strain of decision-making during a crisis.
In many countries it is increasingly common to consider prepaid funeral plans or directives to make this process even more straightforward. Your loved ones will appreciate having a clear understanding of your wishes. We have a free guide that helps you approach this topic with your parents or other loved ones, it can help you approach the discussion on your own wishes too.
5. Consider Life Insurance and Financial Support
Life insurance is a valuable tool to ensure your family’s financial stability after your passing. It can cover immediate expenses, like funeral costs and outstanding debts, while providing long-term financial security for dependents. While New Zealand does not have an inheritance tax, certain assets may still incur taxes during transfer and many other geographies do have this tax. Discussing your estate with a financial advisor can help mitigate any unexpected financial burdens.
6. Seek Professional Advice
In most jurisdictions, legal and financial systems offer various tools to streamline estate planning. Engaging with legal experts, financial planners, or estate management professionals can ensure that your plans are compliant with local laws and tailored to your unique circumstances. Professionals can also assist in addressing potential areas of contention, such as blended families or complex asset structures.
We appreciate getting our affairs in order isn’t a task that’s enjoyable, and it does take a concerted effort, so here’s a summary of what to do so you can approach getting things sorted one step at a time:
Draft and regularly update your will to reflect major life changes.
Appoint a trusted executor and confirm their willingness to serve.
Consolidate and organize financial accounts, debts, and digital information.
Discuss your wishes openly, including funeral preferences and medical directives.
Invest in life insurance to provide financial stability for your family.
Seek professional legal and financial advice for tailored estate planning.
The key takeout here is this is an important task. One that does require some courage to tackle in the first place, and some focus to navigate through each of the elements. Having everything in order, and knowing our loved ones are able to sit with their emotions does bring such peace of mind. Please do make time to work through these, you and those you love, will be so grateful you did.
References
MamaMia - https://www.mamamia.com.au/dealing-with-finances-of-a-loved-one-after-their-death/
MarketWatch – "Your family will love you even more if you simplify your estate"
Business Insider – "Wills, life insurance, and retirement savings: What older widows wish they knew"
The Wall Street Journal – "Grief, Then Paperwork: The Messy, Thankless Job of an Estate Executor"
